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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in the "dark_cosmos" journal:
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03:18 pm
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You learn something new everyday
So many new things I've learned today. All of which are terribly frightening...
I've come to terms with some of the things mentioned in my second ever post, which may or may not be a good thing. I tend to lean toward the latter.
As I may or may not have stated before I have a friend (or two) that are or were slightly infatuated with the party in my second post (he shall remain nameless). They have confided in me some things that they have heard about him from one of his exs (such a terrible phrase...reminds me of that dreadful country song). Anyway, back to the point...
Apparently while the two were dating there was some intense physical abuse (or suspect of) on "mystery man's" behalf. Huh...I honestly wouldn't have guessed. He seems too...relavent to do that...could it just be a lover scorned dishing out this dirt.
I'm so conflicted. I know his ex-girlfriend, and she's a pretty rad kid, but I also know him...
Gah! Booze! Now!
Current Mood:  gloomy
Current Music: "When Doves Cry" by Prince
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02:40 pm
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Rant number 2: The fair-weather friend...
I've promised myself that I won't mention any names because it will be easier for me to repress later in life if I don't.
One of the members of our little group decided to graduate a year early and head off to the alma-mater of members of her family past. I have no qualms with this...in fact I had considered it myself. The problem with this person is as soon has she got that diploma..no, before that even, when she found out she was going to blow the proverbial popsicle stand that is our high school, she started to change. She became the queen of narcissism.
It's gotten progressively worse. She's one of the reasons I had to create this LJ and become a newbie all over again. (However I am enjoying this more and more though). She has cluttered my comment box with statements about how "Everyone in the high school is so immature" and "You guys cause to much 'drama".
Wait just a damn minute...
This is an interesting statement from someone who is trying to get every male member of the senior class to invite her to prom (with special emphasis on boy mentioned in last post). This is also the girl who is YOUNGER than I am...and she's calling me immature? Interesting isn't it. Of course, she doesn't consider anyone who doesn't attend weekly frat parties to be mature. Maybe all the liquor is starting to affect her judgment, but I guess that doesn't really account for the last 3 years.
In my opinion there is nothing worse than a hypocrite and this girl breaks the fucking mold!
Current Mood:  cynical
Tags: "everybody hurts" by r.e.m
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09:07 pm
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Rant Number One: Sometimes I hate my emotions...
Things have become very complicated of late. I don't want them to be. I miss simplicity. Simplicity was good, it was...simple. I could handle it. This is is almost too much for me to take.
It seems as though someone is playing a nasty little trick on me. I'm not longer in control of my feelings for people. My emotions are a ball of yarn being batted at by another kitten...with rabies.
It has spawned from dreams, I think. They're odd dreams. I'm happy in them, blissfully happy...but with someone I'd never expect would make me happy. In fact I hadn't really considered him much of anything (except for maybe a fellow masochist) until recently.
I've been trying to rationalize my feelings. I think that maybe if I rationalize it, it will be easier to choke down and shove into repression. Yes, repression, that sounds good. I mean, I can't possibly have feelings for the "menace". I suppose he isn't really a menace as more an emotionally constipated, sadistic and enraged "guy"...but still, behind those dark brown eyes and shaggy blonde hair lurks something...something frightening. Maybe that's what I'm attracted to. The old "bad boy" cliche. Wouldn't that be pleasant? Or maybe it's jealousy...he has become relatively popular in the clique of girls I hang around. Or maybe it's because we're so much alike...
I can't rationalize it. All I know is that it's very unexpected and slightly unwanted. I mean, there are certainly worse people, but there are better. There are men (people have written about them so they obviously exist) who aren't mindless shells or automatons...they write poetry and songs, hold hands and gaze into eyes, are gentle and caress, and display emotions other than contempt for humanity. Why couldn't I have fallen for one of these?
Current Mood:  confused
Current Music: "Closing Time" Semisonic
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08:25 pm
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'Ello, 'ello, 'ello
Well, this would be my first LJ entry. How exciting?
I'm normally a Xanga user, but it has become such a popular trend in this town that I've decided to switch over for more privacy. I'll still be using my xanga because I've gotten it just the way I like it. But this LJ will be my "dirty little secret". I'll name names here -cackles-. I feel diabolical at this moment.
I'm sure my rants will fill this bad boy up pretty quick, eh?
Current Mood:  devious
Current Music: "We're Gonna be Friends" by the White Stripes
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dark_cosmos's journal